Saturday, March 13, 2010

Turn into



How collected does this woman look?

She doesn't look a day over 25 yet she screams maturity. On the way to the office is she? Maybe she just appears to be a classy lawyer but is really on her way to lunch, but who cares; she looks like she knows what she is doing in life. At this moment I feel the opposite. More like this:





Hah
Naked and in a nook.

I think my emotions right now stem from the fact that I don't imagine that my life is ever going to be that of a supermodel, the fashion writer, or the artistic/romantic that I tend to see in many of the blogs that I follow. The people who are dressing for vogue and partying with the models, or ARE models. My life, as I must accept will consist as it has for the past two years of quiet Saturday nights in and days in the Library. But it isn't just that my routine has become blah it's just I find myself not getting very excited over things that I used to. Like surfing for example. I went yesterday, the day was beautiful, but I felt as though I was going through the motions and nothing seemed new. Usually when I catch a wave where I execute a nose ride, hang five, and smooth groovy turns perfectly I become elated and think how amazing I really am and when I did that yesterday I smiled yes, but it wasn't like it used to be. Maybe these emotions are just stemming from the fact that I am nearing the end of my birth control pack but I am sure in a day or so these blues will play out their tune and I'll be more chipper.

Like every other Friday night, last night I volunteered at the hospital with Nadiya. We were both discussing our anxiety right now with school and the future and we are very much on the same emotional page even through our stories are a bit different. We also had a heart-wrenching run in with an older woman who appeared to be on her death bed, dry skin, scabs in random places, her eyes lashes had flakes on them, she really needed to be loved and in a tub. But what was the saddest of all is that she seemed to have dimensia and/or alzheimers. She kept asking for Luther and if he was on his way to pick her up. Now yes there may have been a real-live Luther coming to get her but it wouldn't make any sense that he would be coming at night since they don't usually discharge people at night. She kept telling me how he should pull into the drive way and we needed to let her know when he got there. She also tried to get out of her bed which we could not allow her to do. Mind you this was a woman who looked as if her bones would break trying to hold her. She looked so frail. I wish not to work with the elderly when I am a M.D ; I find it more sad then working with sick children. The elderly are full of regrets, mistakes, and broken dreams, you can really see it in their eyes. Where as children are always hopeful and the dreams are still there being carried in their warm little bodies.

Well - I must finish this lab report and start the next one. The driest thing to write is a lab report. True to the last sentence.

1 comment:

  1. there is nothing wrong with being the second picture!!

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