Down to the wire.

I will always be thankful for the fact that I always plan ahead and prepare appropriately (except I am still learning that I should always ALWAYS bring a sweater just in case). I spent my entire weekend: Friday, Saturday, and Sunday studying for tomorrows Organic chemistry exam.

Why is this good you may wonder? Because I cannot will myself to even look at the material today. I've done everything but study - well other than a couple hours of shuffling through papers and reviewing a couple mechanisms; I've taken an hour and a half nap (this is a verb a rarely take part in), stopped at the farmers market to pick up berries for my morning smoothies, ran for an hour (while watching icarly/Kardashians), and of course at "the 11th hour" when I told myself that after I showered and worked out I would study, I return from my run to find two darling yet very noisy little girls in the house.

Yes, my brothers practically step-daughters are here and that sound pollution they bring. Arty, my dog cannot stop himself for even a moment to breathe from barking and monitoring their ever action. So, a chatter of paws and bare feet on wood floors the clatter climbs up the stairs, down the hall, and seeps through the cracks of my doors.

So you see, starting to study on Friday rather than Saturday and really going "balls to the walls" I would not be sitting rather pretty with all the time I have "wasted" today. I am very thankful I perilously reviewed this weekend so I needn't worry too much of my lack of reviewing today. In a moments time I will turn on some tunes to drown out the glee of elementary school and really tighten those remaining screws. 89% last exam and I am hoping to break into the 90% group this time around.

The nap arose because I was given some heavy news concerning my health that can lead either nowhere or some serious medical problems. Again, had I not studied before this news would have blundered any attempt to cram as I am sure my fellow students are doing we I write this. Until further tests are administered regarding this complication I have to sit patiently and await the next appointment and analysis. Oh to be young and have such a large monkey on my back concerning health which I never though I would be worrying about : /. Due time though, it may be perfectly all right and it is just a slight scare.

Two things: I would like to stop time to review as well as speed it up to my medical test results.


TIME to study

Turn into

How collected does this woman look?

She doesn't look a day over 25 yet she screams maturity. On the way to the office is she? Maybe she just appears to be a classy lawyer but is really on her way to lunch, but who cares; she looks like she knows what she is doing in life. At this moment I feel the opposite. More like this:

Hah
Naked and in a nook.

I think my emotions right now stem from the fact that I don't imagine that my life is ever going to be that of a supermodel, the fashion writer, or the artistic/romantic that I tend to see in many of the blogs that I follow. The people who are dressing for vogue and partying with the models, or ARE models. My life, as I must accept will consist as it has for the past two years of quiet Saturday nights in and days in the Library. But it isn't just that my routine has become blah it's just I find myself not getting very excited over things that I used to. Like surfing for example. I went yesterday, the day was beautiful, but I felt as though I was going through the motions and nothing seemed new. Usually when I catch a wave where I execute a nose ride, hang five, and smooth groovy turns perfectly I become elated and think how amazing I really am and when I did that yesterday I smiled yes, but it wasn't like it used to be. Maybe these emotions are just stemming from the fact that I am nearing the end of my birth control pack but I am sure in a day or so these blues will play out their tune and I'll be more chipper.

Like every other Friday night, last night I volunteered at the hospital with Nadiya. We were both discussing our anxiety right now with school and the future and we are very much on the same emotional page even through our stories are a bit different. We also had a heart-wrenching run in with an older woman who appeared to be on her death bed, dry skin, scabs in random places, her eyes lashes had flakes on them, she really needed to be loved and in a tub. But what was the saddest of all is that she seemed to have dimensia and/or alzheimers. She kept asking for Luther and if he was on his way to pick her up. Now yes there may have been a real-live Luther coming to get her but it wouldn't make any sense that he would be coming at night since they don't usually discharge people at night. She kept telling me how he should pull into the drive way and we needed to let her know when he got there. She also tried to get out of her bed which we could not allow her to do. Mind you this was a woman who looked as if her bones would break trying to hold her. She looked so frail. I wish not to work with the elderly when I am a M.D ; I find it more sad then working with sick children. The elderly are full of regrets, mistakes, and broken dreams, you can really see it in their eyes. Where as children are always hopeful and the dreams are still there being carried in their warm little bodies.

Well - I must finish this lab report and start the next one. The driest thing to write is a lab report. True to the last sentence.

Psychology. . .?

Hows that for motivation to work out?

We had our first exam in psychology today and boy was I not prepared. I know I probably did a decent job (80%-85%) but that is going to put me in a position where I need to earn 95% + on the next exam. It's not that this class is particularly difficult, it's just that I do not prioritize the class what so ever. My studying for the exam consisted of about 7 hours total where one of those hours was spent cramming in the library right before the test. I under estimated the subject. 7 hours is not enough time to fully comprehend 4 chapters or two months of school. Oh well there is always next time.

I am relaxing at this moment before I lace up my knew sneaks (and sports bra!) and head out on a run. It has been 2 and a half days since I last got in a good cardio! It drives me mad to not get out doors and only hear the wind in my ears and the pounding of my feet. Even if I choose the treadmill it is a mental escape. It is just you pushing your body and nothing else matters. Oh my goodness I cannot wait!

When I return I have to prepare for tomorrows organic chemistry lab and take a gander at my physics take home exam. It is 85% complete. I have three questions to figure out still, an essay question, and I shall take another stab at the bonus question. I really want to finish working on my test by 8 p.m so I can cuddle up in bed with my e-reader and snuggy to read (hopefully finish) Ender's Game.

-Lea