This weekend has been a mental marathon. My first exam for Cellular and Molecular Biology is tomorrow at 2:00pm. Yesterday was a renaissance of proteins and enzymes dancing around my head as they organized themselves for such processes as DNA synthesis, transcription, and translation. I am a rather tedious learner. I will spend up to and even more than an hour learning every single aspect of a topic that others may spend approximately ten minutes on. I have this deep insecurity surrounding my intelligence. I am the student who even though has kept themselves two steps ahead of their professors lectures and raises their hand to answer every question proposed will still cram all weekend even though I practically have all of the subjects down and have seen them three times prior to the study grind.
I just really want my professor to think I am smart. I want my parents to think I am smart.I want my friends to think I am smart. I think this deep needle in my spine is rooted from my parents always boasting about my older brothers "intelligence". They still say "oh Ryan is so smart" and go on about it even though he is 25 and still hasn't finished college because he could never make up his mind on a major. Here I am, incredibly studious and a biology/pre-med major and Ryan still gets all of the credit.
Often when I am home, studying all day. I like to dress up in incredibly theatrical outfits that I wouldn't dare wear in public because they are such period pieces. I find these numbers in thrift stores. The one I am wearing now is a cream colored tunic dress that is fit for a 1940's safari. By wearing these outfits my mental endeavors do not seem so ordinary.
Saturday:
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